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The Mighty Boosh
8,425 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How To Install A Home Security System In The South

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba,
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside."


Schizophrenic Modeler
4,735 Posts
Actually, I once saw a security consultant on TV who said to put large dog dishes outside your home (even if you don't have a dog) to deter burglars. Burglars aren't necessarily afraid of being bitten by a dog, but they fear the barking could alarm the homeowner or neighbors.
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