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Letter

498 views 1 reply 2 participants last post by  Alyasha 
#1 ·
From: STRICOM @AKAC.USAF.mil/

To: pukingdog6@yahoo.com

Subject: Information needed

pukingdog,

You have been designated an "agent of terror", and have been selected for destruction by (unit desig here)5855th Strike Wing, AK Air Command and support units.
Your retaliatory strike has been designated Kick the Dog-02042559B-X. Please include this designation in any inquiries or contacts.
Due to budgetary constraints, we ask you to please provide the following information, to facilitate the timely and fiscally responsible execution of the above mission:

_Your address, with GPS-co-ord grids, if at all possible_________
_A convenient time for our aircraft to attack- Date/Time ___/___
_Any countermeasures or ADA you might possess__________
_Locations of nearby motels, where ground designation teams can stay________________(Must give Military Discount)

And finally (You are not required to answer this question)
_Do you possess Weapons of Mass Destruction* Y/N__, and if so, type__________ and quantity______.

Your cooperation is greatly appreciated, and thank you for your time and effort.

Major Robert Whamhammer
Maj. Robt. Whamhammer, USAF 509-34-8776
Strike Command PAO
Alaskan Air Command

*For definitions and descriptions, including alpha-numerical designations, of WMDs, go online to afdat.usaf.mil/wmd_DM2602-6.html
 
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